When the World Is Celebrating, and You’re Grieving: Support for Grief and Holidays in Sacramento, CA
The holiday season has a way of magnifying whatever we are already carrying. For many people, this time of year brings together family, celebration, ritual, and tradition. But when you are living with grief, especially during the first year after a loss, the holidays can feel overwhelming. Instead of joy, you may feel pressure. Instead of excitement, you may feel dread. And instead of connection, you may feel painfully aware of who is missing.
If this is your first holiday season without someone important to you, you may already be feeling the weight of all the “firsts.” The first birthday without them. The first anniversary. The first holiday meal with an empty chair. You may remember moments from childhood or past years that now feel sharper and more vivid, almost as if grief has turned up the volume on every memory. The anticipation of these firsts can create its own kind of anxiety, long before the holiday actually arrives. You might worry that you will not make it through the season or that you will fall apart. You might also feel pressure to make everything perfect, as if creating a flawless holiday will keep the grief away for a little while.
In this blog, we’ll discuss the connection between grief and holidays and how to find support through grief therapy in Sacramento, CA.
The Weight of Being “The Strong One” During the Holidays
This pressure often ties into the role you have held within your family. Maybe you have always been the one who keeps traditions going, the one who brings people together, the one who makes everything special. Or perhaps you are the person who stays reliable and strong for everyone else. When grief arrives, those roles can feel especially heavy. You might feel as though you have to smile through the pain to keep others comfortable. You might feel responsible for how everyone else is coping. You might put their needs above your own, not because you do not matter, but because caring for them feels easier than facing what hurts inside you.
At the same time, some people find the opposite happening. Instead of pressure to show up for others, they are suddenly alone for the holidays, either by circumstance or choice. Estrangement, loss, moving, or significant life transitions can leave you without the people you used to spend this time with. If this is the case for you, it is entirely understandable to feel lonely or uncertain about how to care for yourself during a season that so often centers on togetherness. If you are choosing to be alone for the holidays, you deserve tools and support from a grief therapist to make that time feel gentle and grounding.
Choosing Compassion Over Expectation This Season
No matter what your situation looks like, grief adds complexity to a season that many people around you expect to be cheerful and light. It can feel like the world is celebrating while you are barely holding it together. But the holidays do not need to be about pretending or performing. They can be a time for honesty, for reflection, and for honoring both your love and your loss.
Whether you are spending time with family, friends, or alone, here are a few insights from specialized grief counseling to approach the holidays with intention, compassion, and support.
Give yourself permission to be exactly where you are
There is no right way to grieve, and there is no right way to move through the holiday season. You do not need to force yourself into a version of yourself that looks cheerful or grateful if that is not how you feel. Allow yourself to be human. If sadness comes up, let it be there. If a moment of joy comes up, you do not need to push it away. Whatever you feel is valid, and none of it means you are doing grief wrong.
Create moments of quiet for yourself
Even if the rest of the season feels busy, overwhelming, or complicated with family roles, find a few minutes to sit with your feelings. This could be like slowing your breath, placing a hand on your chest, or letting yourself acknowledge the truth of your experience. Your pain deserves time and space. You deserve time and space. Self-compassion is not a luxury right now. It is essential.
Honor your person or your loss in a way that feels meaningful
You might light a candle, cook their favorite meal, write a letter, look through photos, or take a walk in a place that reminds you of them. You could share these moments with someone or keep them private. Honoring your loss in the ways mentioned or others is a way to acknowledge and integrate the feelings of loss and love into your daily life.
Allow traditions to change if they need to
Some traditions may feel comforting this year, while others may feel unbearable. You have permission to adjust, skip, create, or reinvent traditions. You can decide what feels supportive rather than what you think you are supposed to do. If you are choosing to spend the holiday alone, you might build new rituals that feel nurturing, such as making a meal you love, spending the day in nature, volunteering, or watching a comforting movie. Loneliness does not mean you are doing life wrong. Sometimes solitude can be a gift when you choose it with intention,
and other times, it might not feel like a gift at all. Meet yourself where you are, and have some options for what you will do for yourself in those moments. For example, take a bath or shower, take a walk, have a cup of tea, read a book, journal, listen to your favorite music, snuggle a pet, etc.
Reduce the pressure to make everything perfect
Trying to make the holiday flawless can be an attempt to outrun pain. It makes sense to want relief. But perfection does not protect us from grief. What it does do is exhaust us. Let the season be gentler. Good enough is often more than enough.
Connect with people who speak the language of grief
Grief can feel isolating because it can feel as if you are speaking a language no one else understands. This is where support from grief therapy and close relationships becomes so essential. If your loved ones are also grieving, connection can help all of you carry the weight together. If your family cannot show up in the ways you need, connecting with people outside your family can be grounding.
If you live in Sacramento, there are local grief support groups available through organizations such as Sutter Health, Kaiser Permanente, and several hospice programs. If you prefer a virtual connection, national grief communities and online groups can offer a space where you do not have to explain yourself. Whether in Sacramento or online, being with others who understand can help you feel less alone.
Remember that you are not required to be okay
Grief does not follow the calendar. It does not soften just because the lights go up or the music plays. You do not have to push yourself to feel cheerful. You do not have to pretend. You deserve care, gentleness, and understanding during a time that can feel both beautiful and heartbreaking. You are doing the best you can, and that is enough.
If the holidays are heavy for you this year, please know you are not alone. Support from a grief counselor in Sacramento, CA, is available, and your grief is worthy of compassion. You deserve spaces that honor your experience and help you move through this season with as much tenderness as possible.
When Should You Seek Support for Grief and the Holidays in Sacramento, CA?
When the holidays arrive, grief can feel especially isolating. While the world seems focused on celebration, you may be carrying sadness, exhaustion, or a sense of disconnection that’s hard to explain. Navigating grief and holidays in Sacramento, CA, can bring up waves of emotion tied to traditions, family gatherings, and memories of loss. You don’t have to carry that weight alone.
Holiday-focused grief therapy at Attune Therapy Practice offers a steady, supportive space to process what this season brings up for you. Together, we can explore how grief is showing up during the holidays, identify emotional triggers, and gently support you in creating boundaries, coping tools, and moments of grounding that feel realistic for this time of year.
Here’s how support can begin:
Schedule a consultation to talk through how the holidays are impacting your grief and emotional well-being.
Begin grief counseling in Sacramento, CA, with a therapist who understands the complexity of loss during celebratory seasons.
Receive compassionate support as you move through the holidays at your own pace, without pressure to feel “okay”.
You don’t need to wait until the season feels unbearable to reach out to a grief therapist. With support for grief and holidays in Sacramento, CA, it’s possible to move through this time with more steadiness, self-compassion, and care for what you’ve lost.
Additional Counseling Services Available in Northern California
Alongside grief counseling, I provide a variety of therapy services designed to support individuals, couples, and communities facing a wide range of emotional concerns. These offerings include anxiety therapy, grief counseling for couples, LGBTQ+ affirming therapy, and specialized support for pet loss and the emotional demands of veterinary professionals.
Care is always individualized, with attention to the nuances of your lived experience and the challenges you’re navigating. Whether you’re managing anxiety, moving through grief with a partner, exploring identity, or mourning an animal companion, therapy is offered in a way that is compassionate, inclusive, and grounded in clinical care.
About Heather: Grief Counselor in Northern California
Heather Schwartz is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker with over 10 years of experience working in grief-centered care. Her first Master's degree is in Contemporary Art. She began this work teaching painting workshops at a nonprofit in Montana to adults struggling with cancer, illness, and loss. When she’s not providing grief therapy, she’s being creative in her art studio, hiking with her pack of dogs, or traveling with her husband.